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The Resource When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses, John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon Matthews

When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses, John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon Matthews

Creator
Contributor
Summary
"To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss." "In When Children Grieve, John W. James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss." "There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity, if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference." "No matter what the journey involves, seeing hope return to a child makes it all worthwhile. That is the greatest gift you can give to a child you love. Book jacket."--Jacket
Language
eng
Work
Publication
Edition
1st ed.
Extent
xix, 268 pages
Contents
  • Introduction: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First
  • Monkey See, Monkey do
  • What's the Problem and Whose Problem Is It?
  • What's the Problem?
  • What Is Grief, Anyway?
  • Obvious and Hidden Losses
  • Never Compare Losses
  • Time Doesn't Heal--Actions Do
  • Normal and Natural
  • Crisis Behavior
  • Between the Problem and the Solution: Six Major Myths
  • Looking At Myth 1: Don't Feel Bad!
  • Sweet but Dangerous
  • Without Sadness, Joy Cannot Exist
  • We Are Not Exaggerating
  • Who's Responsible for Feelings?
  • Looking at Myth 2: Replace the Loss, Part One
  • All Relationships are Unique
  • The Stolen Bicycle
  • Toys and Dolls--Gone but Not Forgotten
  • It's Time to Meet Leslie and Learn More about Cherished Possessions
  • Replace the Loss, Part Two
  • Looking at Myth 3: Grieve Alone
  • Multigenerational Pass-Through
  • Grieve Alone--A Closer Look
  • Why Do People Grieve Alone?
  • Is Alone Ever Okay?
  • Here's Some Good News: Different Beliefs Produce Better Results For Children
  • Pause to Reflect and Recap
  • Looking at Myth 4: Be Strong
  • Wait, There's More
  • Strong or Human, Pick One!
  • Looking at Myth 5: Keep Busy
  • A Dangerous Illusion
  • The Real Impact of Loss: Keeping Busy and Dwelling on Pain
  • Dwelling on Pain Is Sometimes the Result of Not Being Heard
  • Heard at Last
  • Looking at Myth 6: Time Heals All Wounds
  • Corporate Grief and Grief in the Classroom
  • No Time Zones
  • Moving From Grief to Recovery
  • Looking for "The Book"
  • John's Quest Continues
  • What Is Incomplete Grief?
  • Is Incomplete Grief Only about Bad Things?
  • Helping the Helpers
  • It's Easier to Fill an Empty Cup
  • Scuba Diving Lessons
  • The Critical Transition
  • Boundless Capacity
  • Delicate Strokes
  • If Your Kids Are Older, Do Not Despair
  • Do We Know Enough Yet?
  • Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B.s)
  • Do You Know Where Your Child's Energy Is?
  • Short-Term Relief Doesn't Work
  • Recapping Part Two
  • The Path to Completion
  • What is Completion?
  • The Relationship Review
  • Relationship Reviews Happen Automatically
  • Who Goes First?
  • Pick the Fruit When It's Ripe
  • Real-Life Examples
  • Out of the Mouths of Babes--Good-bye, Mr. Hamster
  • All Grief Is Experienced at 100 percent
  • The Death of a Pet
  • Random Memories
  • Helping Your Child Review the Relationship
  • Sleeping in the Bed, or Not
  • Minding the Steam Kettle
  • The Emotional Energy Checklist
  • Children and Their Pets: Reviewing Events and Emotions
  • Emotional Energy Checklist: Death of a Pet
  • What to Do with the Review
  • Converting Emotional Energy Into Recovery Components
  • Recovery Components
  • Apologies First
  • Apologies to Living People
  • Apologies to People Who Have Died
  • Should Parents Ever Apologize?
  • Time Doesn't Create Completion: Actions Do
  • Recovery Components: Forgiveness
  • Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling
  • Recovery Components: Significant Emotional Statements
  • Are the Same Things Significant for Everyone?
  • Some Significant Comments Require Forgiveness
  • Fond Memories
  • Recapping This Section
  • Death of a Person
  • Reviewing Relationships with People Who Have Died
  • The Death of a Grandparent
  • Uniqueness Is the Real Issue
  • "Less Than Loved Ones"
  • Complex Relationships
  • Emotional Energy Checklist: Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance
  • Recapping Part Three--Is It Soup Yet?
  • Before We Move On, We Honor the Readers
  • Moving from Discovery to Completion
  • Continuing Litany vs. Freedom
  • Carrying the Litany Is a Heavy Load
  • Exaggerated Memory Pictures
  • Freedom Feels Better
  • Zeroing In on Completion
  • "Thumper"
  • Delivering, Completing, and Saying Good-bye
  • Leading Up to Jessica's Letter
  • Jessica's Completion Letter to Thumper
  • Entirely Different but Exactly the Same
  • Very Close to NaNa
  • Emotional Energy List--Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance
  • Chronicling Events that Occur After a Death
  • Amanda's Completion Letter to NaNa
  • One More Letter
  • Jeffrey's Letter
  • New Discoveries
  • What About Jeffrey's Sisters?
  • Concluding Part Four
  • Other Losses
  • Focusing on Moving and Divorce
  • The First Big Move
  • Transitional Events
  • What Not to Do
  • Moving
  • On Divorce
  • Leslie Gets the First Word--The Divorce of My Parents
  • Bad New--Bad News
  • Long Term or Sudden Impact
  • Whose Divorce Is It?
  • Multiple Losses
  • Sometimes We Get Lucky
  • Don't Fix Feelings
  • Don't Be Fooled--Relief Is Only the Last Feeling
  • Noble Sentiments, but Hearts Are Still Broken
  • One Central Issue
  • Unique Is Still the Bottom Line
  • Where Is the Focus?
  • Taking Sides
  • Children Sometimes Blame Themselves
  • What Can You Do to Help?
  • Leslie Gets the Last Word, Too
  • Closing up Shop
  • The "D" Word
  • Illusion of Protection
  • Solid and Clear Reference Point
  • Sometimes the World Travels Backward
  • Talking About Death with Your Child
  • Curiosity Helps Children Learn
  • Euphemisms + Metaphors = Confusion
  • Four Weddings and a Funeral?
  • Forty-five Years Later, but Who's Counting
  • Win-Win
  • Chloe and Carrie Sue and the Real Meaning of Time
  • Three Generations
  • Spencer's Accidental Owners
  • Tuning In to Elizabeth
  • The Grief Recovery Groupie
  • Our Completion with You
Isbn
9780060196134
Instance
Label
When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses
Title
When children grieve
Title remainder
for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses
Statement of responsibility
John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon Matthews
Creator
Contributor
Subject
Genre
Language
eng
Summary
"To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss." "In When Children Grieve, John W. James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss." "There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity, if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference." "No matter what the journey involves, seeing hope return to a child makes it all worthwhile. That is the greatest gift you can give to a child you love. Book jacket."--Jacket
Cataloging source
DLC
Dewey number
155.9/3
Index
no index present
LC call number
BF723.G75
LC item number
J36 2001
Literary form
non fiction
Label
When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses, John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon Matthews
Instantiates
Publication
Carrier category
volume
Carrier category code
nc
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Contents
Introduction: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First -- Monkey See, Monkey do -- What's the Problem and Whose Problem Is It? -- What's the Problem? -- What Is Grief, Anyway? -- Obvious and Hidden Losses -- Never Compare Losses -- Time Doesn't Heal--Actions Do -- Normal and Natural -- Crisis Behavior -- Between the Problem and the Solution: Six Major Myths -- Looking At Myth 1: Don't Feel Bad! -- Sweet but Dangerous -- Without Sadness, Joy Cannot Exist -- We Are Not Exaggerating -- Who's Responsible for Feelings? -- Looking at Myth 2: Replace the Loss, Part One -- All Relationships are Unique -- The Stolen Bicycle -- Toys and Dolls--Gone but Not Forgotten -- It's Time to Meet Leslie and Learn More about Cherished Possessions -- Replace the Loss, Part Two -- Looking at Myth 3: Grieve Alone -- Multigenerational Pass-Through -- Grieve Alone--A Closer Look -- Why Do People Grieve Alone? -- Is Alone Ever Okay? -- Here's Some Good News: Different Beliefs Produce Better Results For Children -- Pause to Reflect and Recap -- Looking at Myth 4: Be Strong -- Wait, There's More -- Strong or Human, Pick One! -- Looking at Myth 5: Keep Busy -- A Dangerous Illusion -- The Real Impact of Loss: Keeping Busy and Dwelling on Pain -- Dwelling on Pain Is Sometimes the Result of Not Being Heard -- Heard at Last -- Looking at Myth 6: Time Heals All Wounds -- Corporate Grief and Grief in the Classroom -- No Time Zones -- Moving From Grief to Recovery -- Looking for "The Book" -- John's Quest Continues -- What Is Incomplete Grief? -- Is Incomplete Grief Only about Bad Things? -- Helping the Helpers -- It's Easier to Fill an Empty Cup -- Scuba Diving Lessons -- The Critical Transition -- Boundless Capacity -- Delicate Strokes -- If Your Kids Are Older, Do Not Despair -- Do We Know Enough Yet? -- Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B.s) -- Do You Know Where Your Child's Energy Is? -- Short-Term Relief Doesn't Work -- Recapping Part Two -- The Path to Completion -- What is Completion? -- The Relationship Review -- Relationship Reviews Happen Automatically -- Who Goes First? -- Pick the Fruit When It's Ripe -- Real-Life Examples -- Out of the Mouths of Babes--Good-bye, Mr. Hamster -- All Grief Is Experienced at 100 percent -- The Death of a Pet -- Random Memories -- Helping Your Child Review the Relationship -- Sleeping in the Bed, or Not -- Minding the Steam Kettle -- The Emotional Energy Checklist -- Children and Their Pets: Reviewing Events and Emotions -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Death of a Pet -- What to Do with the Review -- Converting Emotional Energy Into Recovery Components -- Recovery Components -- Apologies First -- Apologies to Living People -- Apologies to People Who Have Died -- Should Parents Ever Apologize? -- Time Doesn't Create Completion: Actions Do -- Recovery Components: Forgiveness -- Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling -- Recovery Components: Significant Emotional Statements -- Are the Same Things Significant for Everyone? -- Some Significant Comments Require Forgiveness -- Fond Memories -- Recapping This Section -- Death of a Person -- Reviewing Relationships with People Who Have Died -- The Death of a Grandparent -- Uniqueness Is the Real Issue -- "Less Than Loved Ones" -- Complex Relationships -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Recapping Part Three--Is It Soup Yet? -- Before We Move On, We Honor the Readers -- Moving from Discovery to Completion -- Continuing Litany vs. Freedom -- Carrying the Litany Is a Heavy Load -- Exaggerated Memory Pictures -- Freedom Feels Better -- Zeroing In on Completion -- "Thumper" -- Delivering, Completing, and Saying Good-bye -- Leading Up to Jessica's Letter -- Jessica's Completion Letter to Thumper -- Entirely Different but Exactly the Same -- Very Close to NaNa -- Emotional Energy List--Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Chronicling Events that Occur After a Death -- Amanda's Completion Letter to NaNa -- One More Letter -- Jeffrey's Letter -- New Discoveries -- What About Jeffrey's Sisters? -- Concluding Part Four -- Other Losses -- Focusing on Moving and Divorce -- The First Big Move -- Transitional Events -- What Not to Do -- Moving -- On Divorce -- Leslie Gets the First Word--The Divorce of My Parents -- Bad New--Bad News -- Long Term or Sudden Impact -- Whose Divorce Is It? -- Multiple Losses -- Sometimes We Get Lucky -- Don't Fix Feelings -- Don't Be Fooled--Relief Is Only the Last Feeling -- Noble Sentiments, but Hearts Are Still Broken -- One Central Issue -- Unique Is Still the Bottom Line -- Where Is the Focus? -- Taking Sides -- Children Sometimes Blame Themselves -- What Can You Do to Help? -- Leslie Gets the Last Word, Too -- Closing up Shop -- The "D" Word -- Illusion of Protection -- Solid and Clear Reference Point -- Sometimes the World Travels Backward -- Talking About Death with Your Child -- Curiosity Helps Children Learn -- Euphemisms + Metaphors = Confusion -- Four Weddings and a Funeral? -- Forty-five Years Later, but Who's Counting -- Win-Win -- Chloe and Carrie Sue and the Real Meaning of Time -- Three Generations -- Spencer's Accidental Owners -- Tuning In to Elizabeth -- The Grief Recovery Groupie -- Our Completion with You
Control code
ocm45620835
Dimensions
22 cm
Edition
1st ed.
Extent
xix, 268 pages
Isbn
9780060196134
Lccn
00054202
Media category
unmediated
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
n
System control number
(OCoLC)45620835
Label
When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses, John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon Matthews
Publication
Carrier category
volume
Carrier category code
nc
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Contents
Introduction: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First -- Monkey See, Monkey do -- What's the Problem and Whose Problem Is It? -- What's the Problem? -- What Is Grief, Anyway? -- Obvious and Hidden Losses -- Never Compare Losses -- Time Doesn't Heal--Actions Do -- Normal and Natural -- Crisis Behavior -- Between the Problem and the Solution: Six Major Myths -- Looking At Myth 1: Don't Feel Bad! -- Sweet but Dangerous -- Without Sadness, Joy Cannot Exist -- We Are Not Exaggerating -- Who's Responsible for Feelings? -- Looking at Myth 2: Replace the Loss, Part One -- All Relationships are Unique -- The Stolen Bicycle -- Toys and Dolls--Gone but Not Forgotten -- It's Time to Meet Leslie and Learn More about Cherished Possessions -- Replace the Loss, Part Two -- Looking at Myth 3: Grieve Alone -- Multigenerational Pass-Through -- Grieve Alone--A Closer Look -- Why Do People Grieve Alone? -- Is Alone Ever Okay? -- Here's Some Good News: Different Beliefs Produce Better Results For Children -- Pause to Reflect and Recap -- Looking at Myth 4: Be Strong -- Wait, There's More -- Strong or Human, Pick One! -- Looking at Myth 5: Keep Busy -- A Dangerous Illusion -- The Real Impact of Loss: Keeping Busy and Dwelling on Pain -- Dwelling on Pain Is Sometimes the Result of Not Being Heard -- Heard at Last -- Looking at Myth 6: Time Heals All Wounds -- Corporate Grief and Grief in the Classroom -- No Time Zones -- Moving From Grief to Recovery -- Looking for "The Book" -- John's Quest Continues -- What Is Incomplete Grief? -- Is Incomplete Grief Only about Bad Things? -- Helping the Helpers -- It's Easier to Fill an Empty Cup -- Scuba Diving Lessons -- The Critical Transition -- Boundless Capacity -- Delicate Strokes -- If Your Kids Are Older, Do Not Despair -- Do We Know Enough Yet? -- Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B.s) -- Do You Know Where Your Child's Energy Is? -- Short-Term Relief Doesn't Work -- Recapping Part Two -- The Path to Completion -- What is Completion? -- The Relationship Review -- Relationship Reviews Happen Automatically -- Who Goes First? -- Pick the Fruit When It's Ripe -- Real-Life Examples -- Out of the Mouths of Babes--Good-bye, Mr. Hamster -- All Grief Is Experienced at 100 percent -- The Death of a Pet -- Random Memories -- Helping Your Child Review the Relationship -- Sleeping in the Bed, or Not -- Minding the Steam Kettle -- The Emotional Energy Checklist -- Children and Their Pets: Reviewing Events and Emotions -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Death of a Pet -- What to Do with the Review -- Converting Emotional Energy Into Recovery Components -- Recovery Components -- Apologies First -- Apologies to Living People -- Apologies to People Who Have Died -- Should Parents Ever Apologize? -- Time Doesn't Create Completion: Actions Do -- Recovery Components: Forgiveness -- Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling -- Recovery Components: Significant Emotional Statements -- Are the Same Things Significant for Everyone? -- Some Significant Comments Require Forgiveness -- Fond Memories -- Recapping This Section -- Death of a Person -- Reviewing Relationships with People Who Have Died -- The Death of a Grandparent -- Uniqueness Is the Real Issue -- "Less Than Loved Ones" -- Complex Relationships -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Recapping Part Three--Is It Soup Yet? -- Before We Move On, We Honor the Readers -- Moving from Discovery to Completion -- Continuing Litany vs. Freedom -- Carrying the Litany Is a Heavy Load -- Exaggerated Memory Pictures -- Freedom Feels Better -- Zeroing In on Completion -- "Thumper" -- Delivering, Completing, and Saying Good-bye -- Leading Up to Jessica's Letter -- Jessica's Completion Letter to Thumper -- Entirely Different but Exactly the Same -- Very Close to NaNa -- Emotional Energy List--Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Chronicling Events that Occur After a Death -- Amanda's Completion Letter to NaNa -- One More Letter -- Jeffrey's Letter -- New Discoveries -- What About Jeffrey's Sisters? -- Concluding Part Four -- Other Losses -- Focusing on Moving and Divorce -- The First Big Move -- Transitional Events -- What Not to Do -- Moving -- On Divorce -- Leslie Gets the First Word--The Divorce of My Parents -- Bad New--Bad News -- Long Term or Sudden Impact -- Whose Divorce Is It? -- Multiple Losses -- Sometimes We Get Lucky -- Don't Fix Feelings -- Don't Be Fooled--Relief Is Only the Last Feeling -- Noble Sentiments, but Hearts Are Still Broken -- One Central Issue -- Unique Is Still the Bottom Line -- Where Is the Focus? -- Taking Sides -- Children Sometimes Blame Themselves -- What Can You Do to Help? -- Leslie Gets the Last Word, Too -- Closing up Shop -- The "D" Word -- Illusion of Protection -- Solid and Clear Reference Point -- Sometimes the World Travels Backward -- Talking About Death with Your Child -- Curiosity Helps Children Learn -- Euphemisms + Metaphors = Confusion -- Four Weddings and a Funeral? -- Forty-five Years Later, but Who's Counting -- Win-Win -- Chloe and Carrie Sue and the Real Meaning of Time -- Three Generations -- Spencer's Accidental Owners -- Tuning In to Elizabeth -- The Grief Recovery Groupie -- Our Completion with You
Control code
ocm45620835
Dimensions
22 cm
Edition
1st ed.
Extent
xix, 268 pages
Isbn
9780060196134
Lccn
00054202
Media category
unmediated
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
n
System control number
(OCoLC)45620835

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Genre

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